Monday, July 2nd, 2012
I went to go see my Hot Tamalogist yesterday. He said before I pop my rocks, or goober a bit-o-honey, I need to check out the chiclet good and plenty. If I stick my willy in a wonka without wearing a gobstopper I could wind up with big red zagnuts. I said what about blow-pops? He said don’t be a lemonhead, you can still wind up with a sour patch, kid. I said isn’t there a safe way to skor anymore? Can’t I just have a fun dip here and there? He said you stick the wrong pixie, and you’ll have atomic fire balls and a lot of trouble raisinet. Also, before you milk your dud, put on a watchamacallit and you won’t have any runts. Remember, nothing is safe butterfingers. I said thanks doc, you’re a life saver. I hope that makes you snicker. (Maybe have each candy as I say it).